Incomplete
by SabbieChan
Summary: Clouds reminising on the love he lost. my opionion on what happens affter ff7 and before ff7ac


  
**INCOMPLETE**

FF7 Song-Fic

BSB "Incomplete"

Disclaimer: i do not own FF7

The sky grows dim as the water glows from the moons light shinning from the heavens. The day is ending and the night is just beginning. It holds secrets in its dark depths. One sad secret still lingers in the water. One lone person still stands by the ever-darkening water's edge. He does not move. He only stands and looks out to the shadowing water. There is sadness apparent in his strong blue eyes. He tries to hide it, but he cannot. The darkness and the water know what he lays in his heart. One cannot hide something so sad from the darkness. The darkness is sadness. It fills your holes of your lost.

_Empty spaces fill me up with holes_

A single tear falls from the young man's sad eyes as he looks out towards the water. Both eyes and water... blue. Both hold sadness and despair, yet both are calm on the outside and rushing tides inside. He had lost something or someone so very dear to him. His heart was theirs even though he never voiced it. He now wishes that he had. If he did he might have been able to save them. Save them from a fate so tragic. He feels guilt... it rushes through his vines. He feels empty, like a void has opened up in his heart. Only holes remain where there once was hope, joy, happiness, and…love.

_Distant faces with no place left to go_

The wind begins to blow through his blonde locks. It whispers to him. Telling him everything will be all right. He does not listen. All he can think about is… her. The love he lost. The love he never got to tell how he truly felt. He raises his head looking up to the dark sky. Only one start shines from the darkness. He smiles weakly remember all the times he shared with her. Some were bad and some were good. Its how life goes though you have your up and your downs. It helps you to grow stronger in both body and mind. Images of her face flash before him. How he wishes he could see her again. To see her smile, laugh, and carry on without a care in the world. He has no place to go. His heart is with her forever down in the depth of the blue water.

_Without you within me I can't find no rest_

More tears fall from his eyes. It seems as though no matter how much he tries he can't hold them back. He thanks the heavens for letting him be alone only with the watery grave as a companion. He places his long sword in the sand. His body begins to shake both from the coldness and the loneliness. He falls to his knees holding his sword for support. He feels as though he cannot go one without her there by his side. She had brought so many new feelings to him. He does not know what to do. He has never felt like this before let alone for another. He lowers his head as the tears begin to fall. He cannot hold back anymore. He will never be able to find any rest not with her gone from his life. She will never be able to return.

_Where I'm going is anybody's guess_

Hours pass and yet he still kneels by the waters edge. The tears have stopped flowing from his eyes. He cannot cry anymore. Like the desert rain his tears are all dried. Still looking down he thinks back on his memories. The sun begins to rise in the East warming up the water giving it a yellow orange glow. He looks up to the sun shining down upon him. He has been here all night. The hours have seemed to go by so quickly. A weak smile appears on him lips. How he wished he could have shared this moment with her. Using his sword for support he slowly rises from the sand. As the sun finishes setting lighting the world with its warm rays he walks over the edge of the water. There he pulls out a single white rose so pure and innocent. It's a symbol of the one he lost. She was untainted by the evils of the world. How could someone like her exist? The throws the single rose out into the water. The rose causes a rippling in the calm water, changing it. It is time he moved one. He has no idea where he will go. No one else knows either. He will let his feet guide him.

_I tried to go on like I never knew you_

A few months have past since he had left. Nothing had seemed to change. Of course people moved on and learned more, but he never seemed to move on. No matter how much he tried he could not move on. He could never erase her from his heart. She would forever be imbedded within this mind, heart, and soul. He still thought about her every day and night. Every hour, minute, and second of his life. He never did return to her water grave though. He could not bring himself to do that. It would only confirm that she would never be coming back. He could not live with that. He still wanted to hang on to the one last bit of hope. Even though it was diminishing everyday.

_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_

The streets are quite where he lives. No sounds echo in the distance. It is peaceful yet loud. Nothing seems to be as it appears. He sees everything with wide-open eyes. Nothing seems to feel real to him though. It all feels like something is missing. Something that cannot be found. He searches for it with open eyes. All he can find though is emotions locked away. Everything seems to be in a sleep of dreams and wishes. How can everyone be o happy when his sad and alone? He doesn't let them know the sadness and loss in his heart. He wont let them. He hides it all to well. Or maybe it is because they are locked in their own little dreams worlds that they do not see what lies behind his blue eyes.

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

_But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete_

In his cold room at night he prays. He prays for his love. He hops that she is happy wherever she maybe. Maybe she made it to the Promised Land that she so longed for. He prays for the health and happiness of those around him. There is only one thing he prays for that is for him. He prays that he could be with her. Holding her in his arms and saying the things he never got to say. He does not want his heart to ache anymore. It is killing him and tearing him up inside. He will always have that void within his heart. He will never be with her. Not until the day he too leaves this world behind. Till then he will be a piece to a whole. He will never be complete till he finds her. Till he is able to see her smiling face again. How he longs to just see her once more.

_Voices tell me I should carry on_

_But I am swimming in an ocean all alone_

Every night when he closes his eyes and falls into the dream world he hears their voices. They all tell him the same thing. He does not want to accept it though. He could never forget her. He does not see how he can move on. He had seen how she died. She died with a smile on her face. How can someone be so happy when they die? She was thought right to her very last breath. The tears flow from his eyes every night. He is the only one that sees them. He will not let others in anymore. He had seen what could happen. You will lose them all at some point. He cannot live with that. Not again… not after losing his love. The tears flow from his eyes like the rain into the ocean. He drifts away to a world where she is still there. A world of hopes, love, dreams, and happiness. He is lost swimming though his emotions. Trying to sort out what is reality from what is fantasy. He is all alone left with only himself, his memories, and dreams.

_Baby, my baby_

_It's written on your face_

It had been another night of crying for the blonde. Who would have thought he would be one to cry himself to sleep. I'm sure his childhood friend never pictured that. He always seemed so strong after going away. He joined SOILDER. There he was changed. He no longer showed much emotion. That was until she came into the picture. Her with her flowers on the street side in all her beauty grace and elegance. Her deep green eyes shown out amongst all others. Her brown hair flowed beautifully in the wind. She was the perfect form of an angel. She was so pure and innocent. Never been tainted or touched by darkness. How could she fall for someone like him? She did though it was written in her eyes. Just like her it is written on his face. All can tell that he was in love. Even if the emotion that came through was small. He could never admit it. It would take away from his pride and strength. His eyes could not hide anything though. They told everything. They are the doorways to his soul and the soul never lies. I can't. It is your very essence of who you are.

_You still wonder if we made a big mistake_

Every night before he goes to bed he thinks about that one night. Every moment he has alone he thinks about it. Was it really worth it to share something like that? It was his first time but he could tell it was not hers. She did talk about someone named Zach. She had to have dated him. He could not refuse her offer when she came into his room that night. He was in love with her though he would never admit it. She came in with confidence and yet a little ear. Fear of rejection perhaps. He had agreed to go on a date with her when she asked. It was the best time of his life. Especially that time he got to kiss her. It was not under the best of circumstances though. Nonetheless he got to feel her lips on his. When he thinks about that night he wonder. Did he make a mistake? Should have let her in his heart? He really does not know. It brought such great happiness when she was there. But then that was all take away from him. Maybe it really was a mistake. He will never know.

_I've tried to go on like I never knew you_

Now a year later he still tries to forget about her. He cannot do it though. He wants to forget about the pain. It only hurts more when he doesn't think back on the times he had with her. Still he has yet to return to her grave. He cannot bring himself to do it. It is too painful. He has accepted that she will not be coming back. He knows that she will always be with him though. Her spirit resides within himself. He still feels alone. But slowly mends his heart. He will not be fully mended till he sees her again. Time has changes along with the tides. He has grown older and more mature. Still no one is allowed in his heart. It belongs to her and only her.

_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_

He moves through the quite streets. Everyone carries one without a care in the world. No one notices him walk by. He is only a shadow to them. Something that is untouchable. He does not mind. It gives him time to think and observe. He watches them wishing he could have what they all have. To be in a world of dreams so much like them. He watches them in their dreams world. Their eyes half dreary and half awake. How can they live like that? She did though. She was never worried about what was really going on. She was always joking and at times of trouble too. He loved that about her. How she was so carefree. He smiles at her memory.

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

Even though on the outside it appears that he is no longer hurting. Even on the inside it appears to be the same. His heart is still broken. It will be forever. He still prays for it to mend. His pray are never answered. He wonders if he did something wrong. Maybe it was killing… Him. Who knows? He deserved to die though. He caused so much hurt, heartache and pain. Not only for himself but those around him and the others in this world. He had to die there was no other choice. It was either him or the rest of the world. Wouldn't you rather kill one person to save a million? He did what he thought was best. He saved the world yet lost something so dear. And it kills him everyday and night.

_But without you all I'm going ever be is incomplete_

The black void within his heart is still there. It grows everyday. The more he thinks the more he dreams the larger it gets. He is slowly shattering. It may not appear to be so on the outside but he is slowly giving up. He will never be whole. His other half was taken so cruelly from him. Right before his eyes even. And he couldn't do anything. Something was stopping him, holding him back. He longs for her. He will not voice it... it hurts too much. Yet it hurts more them more he keeps it inside. The years of holding in his secrete weaken him. It causes the emptiness to grow and fill with more holes. He needs to see her again, but he will not.

_I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go_

In his room he paces back and forth. He thinks. In his hands he holds a picture. It is a picture of the one he loves. The one that holds his heart and other half. The tears fall from his eyes. One lands on the picture. It slowly runs across the frame creating a path of its travels behind it. Why? The question repeats itself over and over again in his head. Why did not stop him sooner? Why did he let her die? Why did he let himself fall in love? Why does he drag this on? Why? Why? Why? He drops to his knees holding his head. The tears flow even more. He cannot take it any more. Everything is starting to sink in after such a long time. He can't stand it.

_I don't wanna make you face this world alone_

Waves of tears flow from the blonde man's eyes. His heart is finally realizing the truth. She will never be coming back to him. She is no longer part of this world. Has she crossed over to the other side? Has she made it to her long awaited home? He doesn't understand why he let her go. Let her go alone to face what lays a head. He didn't want to make her face that alone. He wanted to go with her. Or her not go at all. There was not stopping it though. She did save others with the cost of her life. That is something he will always remember. She put others before herself. It was just how she was. It may not have looked like that but that's how it was. He holds her picture close to him. He is glad and sad at the same time. Glad that no one is here to witness him breaking down. He is sad that she is not with him in his arms.

_I wanna let you go (alone)_

The tears have now dried. Only evidence of where they were remains. He so badly wants to let her go. He is only holding her back. Holding her back from what awaits her. He doesn't want to stop her. But the more he holds her in his heart the more her pain grows. She cannot get to the Promise Land. He is holding her back. He wishes for a way to help her move one. To help himself move on. He will never forget her though. He cannot. For he loved her. Love is not something that can be broken. He just needs to let go of her spirit not her love.

_I've tried to go on like I never knew you_

Two years have gone by. He still has tried to go on like he never knew her. It has not worked though. He still thinks about her. He has moved on…some. He has decided that it is now time that he returned. Returned to her grave. The water in which she now rests. He packs what little things he has. He will set out to return. He needs to do this. It has been far too long. Two years he has spent away. Two years he has mourned alone. Two years have caused the emptiness to grow. So he needs to see her one more time. To say… goodbye. It will be hard but it is something he must do. The sun is shining when he starts his journey.

_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_

As he walks he thinks back. He thinks back on that day. The day that she left this world behind. His eyes are wide open as he travels through the woods. The sky growing dim with every step he takes. The loser he gets to the water the more the shadows swallow whole. Everything around him seems so peaceful though. The birds, the wind, the sky, and the animals go on without a care in the world. They are blinded by what is the true reality. They do not yet see the cruelties of the world that they live in. He has seen it first hand. He fought it each day. In his heart and on the land. He had seen it kill his love. Killed her before he got the chance to say the three words. The three words that could have changed everything. They could have saved her.

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

The trees hide the moon's rays from shinning through. He has finally returned to where she lays. It has been so long. So much has changed. Do the others even remember him? Do they even care? He doesn't care right now. He needs to do this. He needs to do this alone. He tries to hold back the tears. It is too painful for him. The sword still lies in the sand. It lays right where he left it. No one has been here in years. How he prays to mend his broken heart. He walks to the water's edge. The flower he left so long again is still there. She did love flowers. She had her own little garden in the church. She even sold them by the street's side. They were a rarity in Midgar. He walks over to the edge and pulls a white flower from his pocket. It is much like the one he did that day he lost her.

_But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete_

_Incomplete_

A clear drop of water slowly cascades down his cheek. It travels down till it lands on the single white rose. He smiles sadly but with a little hint of happiness. The flower floats through the air with grace. It lands in the blue water below. He has finally done it. He has returned. The void in his heart still remains. He can never be whole. But he can move one. There are others out there that need him. He has a new mission ahead of him. He needs to rejoin the others. And fight side by side like old times. Only one will be gone but she is still there. She is in all of their hearts and the soil they walk on. She has become one with the Life Stream… the Promise Land of the Ancient ones. The holes in his heart are not so big now. But he is still incomplete. The sun beings to rise in the distance. It is time he took a stand. It is time he fought this new evil. He turns and starts to walk into the rising sun. He turns back for a moment and whispers one last thing. "I love you, Aeris" is the last thing he says before he takes his leave. He promises he will return again.


End file.
